李淯博士

知名作家

美国

很高兴我能站在这里跟大家讲几句话。我父亲的祖辈也来自河南，所以今天和你们在一起，就有回到自己老家的感觉。首先，我祝贺你们，到目前为止你们已经走过了人生中很重要的一段旅程。大学毕业是你人生中重要的里程碑，它需要巨大的付出和不懈的努力。因此我为你们的成功感到非常的骄傲。

但是，相信在座的各位已经知晓，前方的旅途更加艰辛，它需要你们同样多的努力和付出。而实际上，这些努力在生活中是永远不能停止。不论你取得多少财富，你多么出名，你拥有多大的权利，甚至你有多么被人爱戴，新的问题和挑战总会不期而至。每当你达到新的个人目标或者达到新的目的，你就会有新的问题要解决。并且你选择接受每个新挑战的方式将会决定你是否可以超越它进入更高境界，或者驻足不前直至你拥有足够的能力去克服它。当你遭遇挫折时，你甚至会觉得你在后退，感到羞愧和愤怒，因为大多数人都不想让我们爱的人失望。更糟糕的是，如果事情没有按照你的理想进行，你会开始对自己失望，怀疑自己的能力和自我价值。

然而，你应该做的最重要的事就是：天塌下来自己扛。你必须爱自己、相信自己，因为只有你自己能决定你的未来。充实快乐的生活源自你自己的内心深处。首先你要知道生活中，当你面临新的挑战，你也会犯很多错误，原谅自己并从中吸取教训还是绝望地放弃，这由你自己决定。前者会将你带入更高的境界，而后者将使你步入深渊。

我个人的经历也许会对你们有所启迪。当我最初开始在投资银行工作时，我所在的整个部门只有25人，我是仅有的两位女性中的一个。由于我的父母都在学术界工作，我从来没有接触过高级管理，所以无法理解华尔街的工作文化。我不知道给老板冲咖啡以及工作之后和同事一起喝茶，其实它们与制作一个复杂的电子数据表一样重要。我不知道在小组会议中勇敢地发言与毫无怨言地接受很多额外工作一样有价值。总之，我不得不通过最难的方法学会这一切，因为没有人会教我这些不成文的规定。直到后来被解雇了，我才懂得无法融入他们的企业文化才是我失败的根本原因。起初，我很伤心也很生气，因为我感到自己被歧视了。毕竟，我做得很好，并且很多次我甚至比一些男同事做得更多，因此我觉得公司解雇我 ， 对我很不公平。因自己感到屈辱，所以不敢告诉父母和朋友到底发生了什么，所以我变得越来越沮丧和孤寂。

然而我生命的转折点却在我哥哥的意外车祸后出现了。我很爱他，甚至希望用自己的生命来换取他的生命，但是我知道这的确是不可能的，所以接下来最好的选择就是，想象着如果他还活着的话他会怎样做，跟随他的脚步，做出和他一样的成绩，这样才能让我感到他还在我身边，他还活着。

这样的态度和想法，使我的人生发生了翻天覆地的变化。我不再总拘泥于小事，而是放眼于更广阔的人生蓝图。我放宽心，发现了我原来以为重要的事情不一样的一面。仅仅因为我思想上这样小的转变，我的人生开始变得越来越有趣，越来越精彩，越来越成功。在不知不觉中，我已经是一个拥有数十亿美元资产的投资基金组织的合伙人了。后来当我预测到2008年那场金融危机时，就离开了华尔街并且成功转型进入学术界，并写了一本书，畅销全球。现在我被邀请到世界各地的媒体做演讲。我大学毕业后从没想过会走上这条道路，我庆幸放弃了原来有关我应该从事怎样的职业的想法，并且接受这样的事实，而不是一味固执己见。你越友善地对待别人，就会有越多的人愿意和你一起工作或者成为你的朋友。也就是说，你给予什么，就会得到什么，而且有时候你所得到的远远要比你想象的要多得多。

但很显然的是：只有积极的想法和意愿还不能使你成功，不管你设定了什么样的目标你都必须尽自己最大的努力去实现它。但也不要试图一次就把所有事情都做到最好。因为你没有那么多时间去平衡所有的事情，而且希望做到完美反而让你感觉不快乐。反过来，你更应该想一下什么事情对你来说最重要，就优先去做，并且果断放下那些无关紧要之事。只要你竭尽全力去做，即使失败了也不要后悔，因为你至少知道自己失败的原因。上帝给你关了一扇窗却敞开了一道神奇的门。

有时候遵从自己内心的声音比按照别人的想法去做会更加艰难。社会对我们的期望给了我们很多的压力。但总而言之，生命只有一次，我们有权力去遵从自己的意愿度过，活出精彩。也许我们还需要花费很多时间和精力，犯许多错误才能弄清楚自己真正想要做什么，但是，要保持耐心。随着年龄的增长，你的未来之路会变得更加清晰，因为你对自己的能力和不足更加了解。你的路也不会跟其他人雷同，因为这个世界上只有一个你。

所以，与你的朋友们一起欢呼吧，请记住：你们人生的一个阶段即将结束而新的一页即将开始。而且下一页也注定是充满挑战和激动人心的，因为和学校相比，你的未来就没有那么多框架式的限制。那将会要求你真的了解自己，疼爱自己，而且努力成就最棒的自己。到那时你依然可以放下所有的烦恼，只要你做到了以上最重要的三点就会摆脱烦恼。 最后，我还是想提醒你去真正享受这个人生旅程，因为只有你自己才是陪你走到终点的那个人。

再次祝贺我的朋友们，一路顺风。

Speech by Dr.Ann Lee

Famous author

USA

I am very pleased to be here. Henan is where my father’s side of the family is from originally so I feel in many ways like I’m coming home by joining you today. First off, I want to congratulate all of you for achieving this much in your life so far. Choosing to graduatefrom college is a major milestone which requires much dedication and hard work so I am very proud of all of you for having succeeded.

But as some of you already know, the journey ahead before you will require just as much hard work and dedication. In fact, the hard work in life will never stop. New challenges and problems will always present themselves no matter how much money you make, no matter how famous you become, no matter how much power you have, and no matter how much you are loved. Each time you reach a personal goal or destination, you will have new issues to tackle. And how you choose to handle each new challenge will determine whether you will be able to move beyond it to a higher level of difficulty or stay where you are until you’ve mastered your ability to overcome the challenge. Sometimes you may even feel like you’re falling backwards and feel shame and resentment when you experience setbacks because most of us don’t want to let our loved ones down. Worst of all, you may even start to believe that you are letting yourself down and begin doubting your own abilities and self-worth if things don’t go your way.

However, the most important thing you must do in your life is to always guard against beating yourself up no matter what happens. You must love yourself and believe in yourself because ultimately only you have control over how you choose to live. Living a fulfilling and happy life begins with your relationship with yourself. It starts with knowing that you will make many mistakes in life when you are presented with new challenges, and you have a choice of either forgiving yourself and learning from them or giving up and feeling hopeless. Thefirst choice will take you to higher ground and the second willcause a downward spiral in your life.

My own personal journey may help illustrate what I am talking about. When I first started working in investment banking early in my career, I was one of only two women in the entire department of 25 people. I had no exposure to high finance before since both my parents worked in academia so I didn’t understand the work culture on Wall Street. I didn’t know that bringing the boss coffee and joining co-workers for drinks after work was just as important as knowing how to build a complex spreadsheet model. I didn’t know that speaking up in a group meeting was as valuable as saying ‘yes’ to doing a lot of extra work. In other words, I had to learn the hard way because no one taught me these unwritten rules. Only after I got let go from my first job did I learn that not fitting into the work culture was the reason. At first, I felt sad and angry because I felt discriminated against. After all, I did better work and often times more work than some of my male colleagues so I didn’t feel that the decision by the firm to let me go was justified. I was also ashamed to tell my parents and friends what had happened so I became more and more despondent and recluse.

But the turning point for my life was when my brother died unexpectedly in a car accident. I loved him so much that I would have sacrificed my life for him if that would have saved his life. But since that was not an option, I decided that the next best thing to do was to behave in a way that I knew he would behave if he were still alive in order to keep his spirit and memory alive.

As a result of my own thinking and resolve after the tragedy, I turned my life completely around. I stopped trying to control all the little things in life and focused on the bigger picture. I started to worry less, and I discovered different interpretations for things I used to take for granted. And because of this small shift in my own mind, my life became increasingly more fun, more interesting, and more successful. Before I knew it, I had become a partner at a multi-billion dollar hedge fund. Then when I decided to leave Wall Street because I anticipated the financial crisis of 2008, I was able to successfully transition into academia and write a bestselling book. Now I get invited to speak all over the world and appear on radio and television shows globally. I had not planned on this path when I first graduated from college so it was a very good thing that I let go of my old ideas of what I should do for my career and embraced instead who I am. Who you are and how you react to life becomes a constant feedback loop. The nicer and more relaxed you are with people, the more people want to work with you and be your friend. What you give is what you get, and sometimes what you get is better than anything you could have imagined.

Obviously just having positive thoughts will alone will not make you succeed. You must always try your best at whatever you set your mind to. Do not try to be the best at everything at once though. You will not have enough time to master it all, and you will not be a pleasant person if you try. Instead, think about what is most important to you, make it a priority, and then let go of the rest. You will never regret if you try your best even if you fail. You will then have the satisfaction of knowing that your chosen path was not meant to be at that particular point in time and other doors will magically open for you.

It will be challenging at times to listen to yourself instead of doing what others tell you. Societal expectations can exert a lot of pressure, but in the end, you have only one life to live so you owe it to yourself to live it in a way that you want to be remembered. It may take some time to figure that out with a lot of trial and error, but be patient. As you become older, the path can become much clearer as you know your own abilities and limitations better. And your path will be unlike anyone else’s because there is only one you.

So rejoice today with your loved ones knowing that one chapter in your life has ended and another one will begin. This next chapter will be both more challenging and exciting because it will be much less structured than being in school. It will require you to really know yourself and love yourself and push yourself to be your personal best. Then let go of the worry if you have done those three things. And finally, remember to enjoy the journey because it will be the only one you will have.

Congratulations again and good luck!